As a blog that encapsulates the entirety of the equestrian way of life, sometimes I find it important to discuss topics that might not directly include “the horse”, but rather are more loosely related. Etiquette is one such topic.
Many of us are in the thick of holiday celebrations. In decades past, a large majority of families lived in close proximity and business activities ceased for a specified block of time. Global opportunities and 24-7 digital technology have disrupted past traditions and we have created new traditions amidst our ever-changing culture. My immediate family is no exception to this social trend. We are dispersed from Idaho to Istanbul and California to Connecticut. Our schedules are tightly regulated and we choose to meet in my husband’s hometown of Sun Valley because we can create a vacation ambiance and better enjoy spending time with each other. The door is revolving, but we do our best to make Christmas Eve our “important” family dinner. Instead of spending a day in the kitchen and attempting to coordinate a meal, we have found dining out a more enjoyable and stress-free option. Although we remove much stress by dining out “on the town”, this does not mean that everyone’s etiquette should go by the wayside. In fact, the level should be elevated to recognize the importance of joining together and acknowledging the opportunities we have been gifted with.
As a stepmother of four young adults ranging in age from high school to post graduate studies, we have spent years instilling extensive table manners for various types of events within our family. I still find it necessary to reiterate basic etiquette, especially with our attachments to cell phones, and also to act as a role model myself. I find this especially important as a sign of respect to my mother-in-law who graciously coordinates our main dinner.
Below are my top ten dinner etiquette reminders while dining out:
1) RSVP in a timely manner.
Dinner reservations, specifically in the month of December, are difficult to manage. Do not wait until the last minute to communicate to the organizer whether you will be able to attend.
2) Arrive on time.
Allow time for parking, weather, etc. Timeliness is not only a sign of respect for your party, but it is also important to allow for the restaurant to serve your party and their guests that are following.
3) Dress appropriately.
Do not guess. Check the restaurant’s website or call them directly. Your personal presentation is a sign of respect to those in attendance.
Style Hint: Even in more casual atmospheres, one important accessory can take your your outfit from simple to chic.
4) Posture.
Bad posture at the table may be interpreted as a sign of disinterest. Think equitation: shoulders back, sit up straight and maintain level eye contact.
5) Put your cell phone away.
NOT EVEN UPSIDE DOWN ON THE TABLE. If you are concerned about news from a baby-sitter, discreetly check intermittently. Pulling out your cell to check the time, texts, social media posts, snap chat, etc. is a sign that you would rather be elsewhere.
6) Do not start eating until everyone has been served.
Just a reminder. We have all witnessed someone waiting, yet holding their fork as the rest of the table is being served (cringe).
7) Conversation:
Be present. Ask questions and listen to the answers. Definitely avoid any subjects that may cause dispute.
8) Wait patiently:
Even if your plate is much smaller and you finish before the rest of your party, wait patiently. If you act antsy, the others around you will typically not enjoy their meals.
9) Thank you in-person.
Upon leaving, personally shake the hand/hug (whichever is appropriate) and vocally thank the host or hostess.
10) Post mark a written thank you.
DO NOT TEXT. DO NOT EMAIL. A hand written note remains the ultimate act of sincerity.
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